i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
