Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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