Sponge bath it is.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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