Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
