I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
