well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize