The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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