We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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