Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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