this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize