Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
