sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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