I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
