hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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