What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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