its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
