my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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