its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
