His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
