it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
