escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
