I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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