What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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