It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
