I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize