it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
