JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
