I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
