I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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