Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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