woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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