ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're a waste of cheezeits
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
