Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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