Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
