that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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