I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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