This is not my ceiling
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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