and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize