If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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