dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
