You're so nebulous sometimes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
