I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
