he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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