You can't special order awesome
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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