yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
