walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I touched a dick in church today
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
