But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
