Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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