You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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