i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
