Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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