based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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