i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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