after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
