well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
