Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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