Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
