Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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