I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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