____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
