She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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