I'm really into asian looking animals
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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