I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
