I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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