Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
